Tip Of The Week: Prepare For The Winter

Those of us who do not have the luxury to live in Florida, Texas, Arizona, Southern California, etc. during the winter, have some preparations to make.

Here is my checklist (no particular order, just the order they pop into my head) to survive the dreaded cold and snow that inevitably awaits us:

1. Shovel -- some jackass always plows you in...oh, and you can use this to scoop off the driveway
2. Boots -- gotta trudge through that snow
3. Soup -- fight a cold, and THE cold
4. Long Underwear -- men, keep the boys warm; women, keep the vajayjay warm
5. Hat and Gloves -- I think you get it
6. Stationary Bike -- need something to work off all of the food...without having to go outside
7. Girlfriend or Boyfriend -- make plenty of whoopee (sex, for the non-educated)...you burn calories, keep warm, and have plenty of fun
8. Space Heater -- if you tend to be cheap, like me, stick this bad boy in your room and never go into any other part of your house
9. Hundreds of Fire Pictures -- there is a good chance this won't work, but you could tape hundreds of pictures of, well, fire on your wall...this could make you feel warm, mentally
10. Move to One of the States I Mentioned Above