Stock Up On Gas, Beware The $4 Charge

I have began to wonder if I will ever see gas priced at $2.50...just once more in my lifetime. Shit, I remember when I thought $2.50 was too expensive.

More great news has come about, stating that we could see gas prices as high as $4 per gallon by Memorial Day -- worst case scenario being $4.50 per gallon. If this does not make you want to take a 400 mile road trip, I don' t know what does.

Although it's Hump Day, I figured this was as good a time as any, to provide you with a healthy tip for the week: Siphon as much Stock up on all of the gas you can -- maybe some 30 gallon containers, if plausible?

A quick tip: Gas can go stale, so check out how long you should continue to store it.

America's Funniest Home Videos Is The Best Show On TV

Seriously, is there anything better than witnessing someone make an ass of themselves? (This is a rhetorical question, by the way). There is nothing better.

America's Funniest Home Videos has been on the air for about 23 years now, and for good reason. If I am ever in a bad mood, I can always rely on some guy taking a shot to the nuts, therefore putting a smile on my face.

Yes, I know, I haven't mentioned the animal videos yet. What would AFV be without a cat getting scared, a dog escaping it's cage/kennel, or squirrels....well, being squirrels? Again, this is a rhetorical question, as AFV would not have lasted this long without the entertainment of these creatures.

With the above being said, cats and dogs usually provide some real gems. Head past the break for videos dedicated to both.

NOTE: I will no longer be putting "Tip Of The Week" before each post providing tips. It will still be a label, but it gets a bit redundant in the title.

Tip Of The Week: Prepare For The Winter

Those of us who do not have the luxury to live in Florida, Texas, Arizona, Southern California, etc. during the winter, have some preparations to make.

Here is my checklist (no particular order, just the order they pop into my head) to survive the dreaded cold and snow that inevitably awaits us:

1. Shovel -- some jackass always plows you in...oh, and you can use this to scoop off the driveway
2. Boots -- gotta trudge through that snow
3. Soup -- fight a cold, and THE cold
4. Long Underwear -- men, keep the boys warm; women, keep the vajayjay warm
5. Hat and Gloves -- I think you get it
6. Stationary Bike -- need something to work off all of the food...without having to go outside
7. Girlfriend or Boyfriend -- make plenty of whoopee (sex, for the non-educated)...you burn calories, keep warm, and have plenty of fun
8. Space Heater -- if you tend to be cheap, like me, stick this bad boy in your room and never go into any other part of your house
9. Hundreds of Fire Pictures -- there is a good chance this won't work, but you could tape hundreds of pictures of, well, fire on your wall...this could make you feel warm, mentally
10. Move to One of the States I Mentioned Above

Tip Of The Week: Call Of Duty Is A Cash Cow

Yeah, so, this is not really a tip, but rather an obvious fact. Call of Duty is a cash cow, whether it's the same rehashed game every year, or not.

To my last point there: I am one of those suckers who continue to invest in these games, even though I know it is basically an expansion pack. Not sure what it is, really. Could be that all of my friends play it, the multiplayer is chaotic (mostly in a good way) and deep, or it could be because I am brainwashed -- leaning towards the latter on this one.

As many of you loyal fans may already know, Modern Warfare 3 surpassed $1 billion just 16 days after it's launch on November 8th. Umm...that is one hell of a number, and you need to give credit where credit is due.

One thing you can bet, a new Call of Duty title will continue to be released year after year....after year, after year. So those of us that continue to bitch about it better get a nice seat cushion, because we are in for a long ride.

Tip Of The Week: Go Outside

Let's face it, America is a haven for fat people. It's the home of greasy fast food, Doritos, pop, Ho Hos, cable, porn....the list goes on. With a checklist like this, who would want to go outside, even if it is just to get the mail?

Ok, let me change gears here. I want to be clear on who I am bashing: Lazy people that have not seen the sun in three days. You don't have to pump steroids and workout 24/7; just take a walk; go for a jog; sit on a park bench; hell, drive your car for 2 hours until it wears you out (even though your car did all of the work).

I hear too many people bitch about being obese, but never do a damn thing about it. Get off of WoW and see what it is like to set foot on a sidewalk. Seriously, it may surprise you how relaxing it is to go for a walk or run.

P.S. - I blog in what little spare time I have, the computer is not my life -- although, porn does slide in there every now and again...sue me.

Tip Of The Week: Eat Some Turkey!

Thanksgiving is this Thursday, and it's that time of year to gobble up (lame, yet necessary pun) some of that delicious turkey.

My tip for you: Eat as much turkey as you can! Also, don't forget to include the turkey's buddies: mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, noodles, gravy, and just about any sweet you can think of.

Thanksgiving day is one of the very few occasions where we can stuff (turkey pun?) our faces, and not feel ashamed about it. If you gain 5 lbs this week, don't worry about it, that can all be worked off over the weekend.

Tip Of The Week: Don't Drive With Headphones On

This topic is something I could rant about for pages. I mean, seriously, you shouldn't even have to be told NOT to drive with your headphones in.

I live in an urban area (no location announcement here...sorry stalkers) and I am amazed by the amount of people I see driving with their headphones in. On top of that, I literally see them checking/changing their music on their iPod (or any for of MP3 player), WHILE they are driving O_o

I guess the safety of those around you, let alone your own, isn't important enough to miss 5-10 minutes of your music. I can see it now: women driving while putting lipstick on, messing with their hair, then searching for Black Eyed Peas on their iPod -- feeling safer by the minute, aren't you?

P.S. -- This is not a PSA, just an obvious fact that stupid people need to know.

Tip Of The Week: Sh** Happens

That's right, folks, shit happens on a daily basis. There is not a thing we can do about it...except bend over and take it up the tailpipe (not literally, of course).

Now, good shit does happen, too. I mean, everyday can't be a bad day -- you're kidding yourself if you think this is false -- so we have to savor the good stuff when we can. This will also give us something to reflect on when shit hits the fan.

Maybe I am glorifying that "S" word a bit too much. Let me leave you with this bit of advice for the bad days: GET OVER IT!!

Tip Of The Week: Keep Your Cool

Bad drivers, loud and obnoxious talkers, dumb ass parents, people that act like: "Hey, I am better than you!"...are just a few things that can light that anger fuse. You experience it everyday, and sometimes you get caught in one of those "don't f*** with me moods."

My simple words to you: "Keep your cool." Easier said than done, right? I know, I catch myself thinking about stepping out of my car, walking up to the driver side window of the car in front of me, and shattering their window -- just to tell him/her they are a moron for pulling out in front of me, nearly causing a three car accident.

Pulling myself together, I realize they are not worth my time...not to mention, there is that possibility of the person in the car being a freak of nature, whom would destroy me with his pinky.

After reading this, you may not expect to hear that I am a very calm guy. Never been in a fight (although I did deserve to get my ass kicked a couple of times), and I very rarely get mad. I don't bottle anything up, I just tend to let out my frustration on inanimate objects -- such as a video game, or some kind of sporting event.

Tip Of The Week: Do Your Laundry

The title is pretty self explanatory. No one wants to smell a mixture of ass and Axe body spray -- that mix possibly smells worse than just "ass" alone.

Hell, even if you just dip the clothes in some water and soap, at least they are cleaner than what they were before...some of the smell will at least go away.

Do us...you know what? Do yourself a favor and keep em clean. Social interaction is usually a good thing, and smelling like a baby diaper does not help that cause.